Rule #2: Find Your Tribe

Last Updated: November 16, 2020

To my readers in the mail room, board room, or family room, this is one of those truths: we grow in connection to ourselves because:

  1. We are tired of getting the same stinkin’ result; or
  2. Someone gives us feedback that cracks our armor in a way that we know the gig is up.

Some leaders can have their eyes opened courtesy of #1. And … great leaders, lean into the latter to find someone very special cares enough to give a damn and give it straight up.

Because here’s the truth.

As leaders we can’t recover, or lead the acquisition strategy, or have a tough conversation with a someone unless we invite others to help us do the work of self-discovery and accept that we are more than our screwups, mighty as they are, and our moments of glory, fleeting as they are.

For example, this morning, I spoke with my sponsor.

She fills my cup in the way only someone can who knows what you look and sound like at your worst. You know, those times: the times you could pass for a cannibal looking to put someone’s head on a stick. The times you want to pack it up and drive off the road. The times you rise up with such joy and gratitude in your heart, that the whole world glows and there is nothing or no one you don’t love. She is one of those people.

What would my tribe be without my sister? The one who understands what it was like to share a room for what seemed-like-forever as we did our child-like best to protect each other from the monsters under the bed, and those in our house; and with whom, even though we are now separated by many a mile, I celebrate our daily doses of courage.

Find Your Tribe

Professionally and personally, we all need people who will show up and open up, and who let us do the same. The kind who tell you that as brilliant as you are, your acquisition strategy truly sucks and that you spoke disrespectfully to a team member the other day.

Those kinds of people. They exist. Truly. When you find them, never let them go. Make sure you love them big because they will also be the first one to tell you that you nailed it … when you do.

Connecting to ourselves requires an appetite for solitude and … an on-call Calvary who appears when the attacks feel lethal or tell us to sit-our-too-busy-butt down and, for the love of all that is Holy, just eat some Ruffles and French Onion dip.

This is not a DIY life.

Like Aspens, which share a root system, we grow best in groves: rising up with resilience because of our own deep roots and our interconnectedness.

Connection Prompt: How can you deepen the connections you have with your tribe at home and at work each day?

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